I Love Running, I Hate Running

It's official: pre-race day jitters have set in. Actually, it is an equal combination of pre-race jitters and a bit of impending doom knowing what lies ahead for me tomorrow morning.

On Saturday, I will participate in my 4,569th half marathon. Ok, maybe not that many, but enough that I have lost track and the memory of trying to break two hours in my tenth half marathon seems like many moons ago. Tomorrow morning, I will awake to my duck quacking alarm clock at 4:45 am, so I can hit the road with Leigh Ann and take on the Trail Half Marathon.

Along with my 2014 New Year's Resolution to learning how to say "no" every once in awhile (which it turns out, it quite difficult to do in my circle of friends), I really had no intention of running this particular half marathon. I ran this race back in 2012 during the year of my Ironman, after having to take a few weeks off of training due to a bike crash. Immediately after crossing that finish line after what felt like several hours after starting, I thought to myself  "never, everrrr again will I run this race without being in awesome shape."

Well- here we are in 2014 and would I classify myself as being in "awesome shape?" Nope. While I have been running and crossfitting consistently these last few months, that doesn't mean I am ready for a 13.1 mile stroll on what most consider to be a very difficult trail. So this has me thinking: Why am I so dang nervous and a bit grumpy at the thought of running a distance that I have run several times these past few months on a course that I have run before?

And then the light bulb of gratitude lit up in my head. Maybe this is why I love running. After all these years, miles, and races, running hasn't lost it's sparkle. Whether it is a 5k or 50k, running still makes me scared, excited, nervous, joyful, thankful, frustrated, and best of all: always wanting more.

So, after receiving Leigh Ann's text about signing up for the half marathon at the last minute, my personal resolve of learning how to say "no" went quickly flying out the window with the promise of coffee, Timbits, and pink race shirts. While I don't know exactly what tomorrow will bring, I know that it be an adventure filled with the vast array of emotions that running and racing has to offer and thankfully, that is good enough for me.