Oh Hey There, Morning Sickness.

My husband, Jeff, and I had just sat down to breakfast and were chatting away about upcoming plans for my 31^st birthday when I remembered that hours before, I had taken a pregnancy test and left it sitting on the counter without ever checking the results. I walked to the bathroom and as I was throwing the test in the garbage can, a very faint line caught my attention. Approximately 6 pregnancy tests later, I finally began to accept the fact that a little one was on the way and our lives were about to change in a big, big way. This means that three out of the five Sparkle.Pounce. girls will have babies within almost one year of each other. That is a lot of babies (an entire tribe of boys to be specific) and a lot of change.

It was during this breakfast, while chugging coffee, that I remembered the pregnancy test.

Note: Before I continue on with the remainder of this post, I want to say that I have been hesitant to address pregnancy because I know that there are loads of women and families out there that struggle with infertility and infant loss and would give more than their right arm or life savings to be experiencing morning sickness and an uncomplicated pregnancy. While my journey is just beginning, I want to be clear that my heart is full of gratitude for this new adventure.

For me, entering into this new life journey was slightly terrifying. Jeff and I have been married for over six years and have had an absolute blast building memories as a married couple.  We enjoy traveling, race related vacations (well at least I enjoy those type of vacations. Best wife ever, right?), staying out late, eating out, sleeping in, spoiling our two furry kiddos as if they had two legs and not four, and being outside every chance we get. And to be honest, we enjoy life on two full-time incomes. Throwing a little baby into the mix was going to change almost every one of those aspects for us.

I knew that pregnancy was going to significantly alter my life, but since this was my first rodeo, I wasn’t quite sure how. I started throwing up the week before Thanksgiving but since it seemed too early for morning sickness to kick in, I convinced myself that I was battling a little bit of a stomach bug. I was completely wrong.  November turned to December and before I knew it, I was experiencing a few weeks of excessive doctor phone calls, medications, and the inability to keep down most liquids. I managed to vomit in all three restaurants that I dared step foot in during the month of December and perfect the art of throwing up in public. In the peak of my morning sickness, I told my mom that I forgot to show her one of my latest ultrasound pictures and texted her this picture instead. 

There is an alien taking over my body!

I typically use running in combination with prayer and fresh air to process feelings, emotions, and spend some time with my thoughts. In other words- running is my therapy and here I was left to deal with this major life change with my go-to source of “coping” being completely compromised and replaced with trying to keep down spoonfuls of rainbow sherbet on the couch. Needless to say, pregnancy was leaving my sparkle meter on low. I had way too much time on my hands to worry about the what if's: what if I never race again? What if I turn into one of those moms that posts 1.3 million pictures on Facebook of my baby? What if I start wearing mom jeans? What if I actually do lose it on the next person that tells me Saltines will completely cure my morning sickness? What if the once terrifying thought of taking a family trip to Disney World no longer sounds like pure torture? What if the dynamics of my friendships change so much with a baby that we start to lose our common ground?

Thankfully, while there are an unlimited amount of things that I can’t control regarding pregnancy, there are aspects that I can control. It is March 3^rd and I am officially 9 days without throwing up (insert high-five here!) and we were eventually able to find a medicine that was effective at limiting my sickness.  I was able to peel myself off the couch, stop shopping online for new sweatpants, and resume a semi-active life. This meant participating in the January mileage challenge that consisted of running 50 miles, joining a local spin studio, and hitting the pool for a good swim workout. After one particular January run with the Sparkle.Pounce. girls, I called my mom on the drive home and she told me that I sounded “more like myself” than I had sounded in quite awhile and that put an automatic pep in my step. It is comments like that, the pride I felt at finishing the 50 miles in January, and the satisfaction of finishing a good spin class that reiterate how important it is to me that I stay active for as long as possible. I have an indoor triathlon on the schedule in a couple weeks and I'm pretty excited to complete it as I enter temporary triathlon retirement. 

Right after finishing my 50th mile for the month of January!

While I know that my definition of "active" will need to be modified accordingly, not only as pregnancy progresses, but post-baby as well, I am less scared of losing my love of racing and really looking forward to sharing my passion for an active lifestyle with our future kids. The silver lining in the nausea and lifestyle change these past few months have taught me that my love of running, racing, and sparkle will only continue to shine brighter because I have learned to appreciate them that much more.

-Steph