Sunday, April 6, 2014

I am faking it … for now.

Greetings Followers -

Up to this point, you have read the wonderful and inspiring blogs written by my sweat and soul sistas' - so, I am long overdue on shining my little light on the Sparkle. Pounce. blog spot.

Without further adieu, let me introduce myself <insert Dr. Dre beats> ...

I am Lori and I am the outlier in the group - I am the only single lady (no kids or fetus/fetuses) in our Sparkle posse.  At this point, we move from Dr. Dre beats to Beyonce singing 'all the single ladies, all the single ladies' put your hands up!  So, my long run 'girl talk' contributions tend to focus on the perils of dating, sparkle challenges, social media and the joys & frustrations of texting rather than talking. 

So, a little about me ...

I am originally a small town farm girl from Ontario.  You would think that there isn't much trouble to get into in the middle of nowhere but we found a way to cause a ruckus (but not too much ruckus that the bad behavior rumors made it around town to my Grandmother).  I left home at the ripe old age of 19 to pursue my dream to play college sports in the US.  

I have been an athlete my entire life.  It is true, in Canada you are born on skates so I started skating at the age of two, then moved into baseball, basketball, volleyball, tennis and track and field when I realized I wasn't going to be the next Elizabeth Manley (Canadian figure skater in the 1980s).  But, in the end, volleyball was my passion (despite being only 5'9'') and my ticket off the farm to the bright lights & big city or to Ohio for that matter.  

To be honest, sports and athletics have been a passion of mine - it was truly one of the only forums where I excelled and pushed my physical boundaries.  I will never forget the process for trying to chase my dream of playing college volleyball - the investment of time and money was relentless, especially back in those days when it was very difficult to get US colleges to come to Canada to recruit anything other than hockey players.  The day I received my scholarship offer letter was amazing.  Dreams pounced!  Lookout world!  And the process of learning, training, competing and growing began.  My four years playing D1 volleyball were mentally, emotionally and physically challenging, but shaped who I am today.  

After graduating from Ohio Univ (or "Ohio"), I went on to pursue my Masters degree at Bowling Green, then moved to Detroit (which initially terrified my parents) in 2003 after landing an IT job at a big four accounting/consulting firm.  This move in itself was also an event in my life that truly pushed my boundaries.  I didn't know a single person in Detroit, which made the realization that I was living only three miles from 8-Mile even more terrifying.  Did I mention that my parents were terrified I was moving to Detroit?  Thankfully my athletism and volleyball skills made me a dead ringer for the organized sports leagues which introduced me to my first set of friends and the triathlon club that eventually made the "D" feel like home.

… eleven years later.

After some reflection, I realized that I made some big moves in my 20s but recently have relaxed or become complacent in some areas.  I decided to make 2014 as scary as 1997 and set some goals that would scare the crap out of me on a more solo stage.   My goal with this challenge was to continue to grow, prove myself wrong and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

So, over the holidays, with a glass of wine in my hand, I signed up for Ironman Whistler (hello mountains) - no sweat sistas and triathlon club members would be joining me.  This was going to be a true test to see if I could tackle some of my own 'development' areas (consulting speak).  To succeed, I would have to make sure I was disciplined enough to motivate and train on my own at times, which I have proven to have a mediocre track record.  And, I was going to be responsible for coordinating all aspects of the trip, which included a solo vacation challenge before Whistler.  

Now, this challenge has turned out to be harder than I thought.  This winter was rough to say the least - especially on the *sparkle* and the *pounce*.  I tried to stay active with some new winter sports - fat tire biking, Crossfit, cross country skiing, snow running, and snow shoveling (which was about an hour once a week in Dec/Jan), but I struggled to be disciplined and motivated.  

Though I might live what appears to be the glamorous responsibility free 'single' life, there are unique challenges with being the sole motivator, urgency creator and breadwinner in the household.  

I am great at telling other people what to do, but pretty lackluster at holding my own feet to the fire to the point when my weekend 'to-do' list can be easily pushed to the side with one happy hour, long run or lunch requests from my girlfriends (or a hot date).  And, with slacking for me comes the return of the negative voices in my head that say 'you can't do this on your own'.  Told. you. so. 

So, what am I faking right now? Motivation, structure and discipline.  I am half way into my training program for Ironman Whistler and I have only marginal training actuals.  After a ski trip to Aspen and a series of personal struggles, the post vacation blues set in and I lacked sparkle and motivation, pretty much, across the board (including my blog entries which the Sparkle.Pounce. posse has been hinting at me to do for a month now).  

See, we all have these moments where we struggle - even those who 'may' appear to be focused.  I am momentarily faking the *pounce* with the hope that this personal pep talk will ignite the fire to hit the reset button and not quit.  

I know I am not alone with these moments.  We all have moments when we have to fake it or push ourself past the humdrum when we just don't 'feel' it.  It is more importantly our response to these moments, whether it be an applied action or non-action, that defines character when faced with adverse situations.  Each of us will struggle at some point in our 'journey' called life and not everyone with training for a big race - some may struggle with focus at work, getting out of bed, committing to a goal or losing weight.  We all have our own battles, and awareness is the first step in learning more as to why we are struggling and in also finding the right personal pep talk or motivator to get us back on track.  (*Group Hug*)

As they say in yoga studies - yoga begins when you don't want to be in the pose anymore.  

So, the real 'training' starts when you don't feel like going to the gym or running outside on a dreary cold day.  And, life training begins when things start to get hard.  I should also note that I have a similar pep talk with myself about housework, lawn maintenance and house projects, but we will save that for another time.

One step at a time ... one small victory and a "selfie" high five - Tina Fey style.

And, for a little extra motivation, I have found this little quote that inspired me to find my inner *pounce*:  

Life's Challenge - Paolo Coelho
When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change.  At such moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready.  The challenge will not wait.  Life does not look back ...

Challenge accepted - *Pounce* 
Lori 




No comments:

Post a Comment